fujinkumi:

me: accidentally hits my lock screen button while watching youtube

youtube: you wanna get youtube red?? you fucking dumbass?? you really think you can play videos in the background without youtube red?? you fucking useless bastard.

Posted 7 years ago With 147,415 notes

hellabitcoins:

ilovesmoothjazz1998:

hellabitcoins:

aliwav:

listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

hellabitcoins
u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians

brainstatic:

Dear Diary,

I started going on tumblr again after several days with little activity. There is a frog on a unicycle now. He is not the smiling frog or the frog sipping tea. He is a new frog. Every day is a new gift.

Posted 9 years ago With 209,784 notes

malcolm-twrkd-with-ida-4-justice:

galpalactic:

me: *googles how to mash potatoes*

some food blogger: My childhood home was full of wind and light. On a brisk Autumn evening, it often felt as if the outside was in. My younger sister, my mother, our favourite cousin, our dog, our other dog, our dog’s sister, and I would sit on the floor in the living room for hours, lit only by the moon and candlelight

me: *scrolls for several minutes*

some food blogger: It was at that moment, with my tiny hands clasped tightly around a mason jar filled with fireflies, that I realised the true value of family. My dog and my dog’s sister came and sat quietly at my feet. We stared up at the sky together, and I felt truly connected to both the Earth at my feet and the ancestors who shared the blood that ran through them, for the first time realising that

me: *scrolls for several minutes*

some food blogger: and when we finally made it home, our cheeks flushed with laughter and cold, there were warm mashed potatoes waiting for us. I will always remember their fluffiness, perfectly mirroring the light feeling I carried with me for the entire next week. This is my favourite cousin’s recipe from that very day, modified slightly to not be fucking awful. Boil an potato and smush it up with fork and botter. NOT A RAW, Salt, pepepr. In it

Where is the fucking lie, though??!

Posted 9 years ago With 171,354 notes

bubonickitten:

image

the authors of this textbook were clearly high as a kite when they wrote this chapter

Posted 10 years ago With 384,679 notes

reincarnatedx:

lustt-and-luxury:

boredpanda:

Artist Transforms Bananas Into Works Of Art

so mind blowing to see how talented people are 😍

My new favorite thing is banana art

sarahtonin42:

HELLO SMALL COW ARE YOU LOST